The Wonderful World of Butts
by adelineday64
Summary: I just wanted to write something fun for a change. Starring Seychelles and based on Comic Birz chapter 16.


Seychelles entered a small, poorly furnished room followed by her voluptuous assistant and sat down at a large wooden table.

"Hello, my name is Seychelles and welcome to my show." She greeted the empty room with a grin. "Today I'll be talking about a really exciting topic, that I'm sure you'll all enjoy. Three guesses as to what it is." She paused for one minute, as if she were waiting for an answer.

"OK, I'll tell you what it is." She continued when there was no response. "I'm here to talk about the most wonderful part of the human body: the butt."

Seychelles' assistant smiled mischievously.

"What makes the butt so special? Well other than sitting, it also serves other purposes. It adds definition to an otherwise boring, straight body shape; it makes one look more desirable...have I mentioned how useful a butt can be when it comes to dancing? Anyway Michelle, why don't you turn around and do a demonstration?"

Michelle (the assistant's name) turned around, hands on hips and showed off her round, curvy behind to the camera.

"Thank you, Michelle. You may turn back around now. Moving on...I wonder who's watching us? If you happen to be tuning in to this show right now, please shout your name out so I can hear!"

Complete silence followed.

"Alright...let's start with the first thing on the schedule. Michelle, bring in the coconuts!"

Michelle left the room and soon came back in carrying a wooden crate. She set it down on the floor and shook her arms to loosen them after performing such a straining task.

Seychelles reached into the crate and pulled out a single coconut. "This, ladies and gentlemen is a Coco de Mer. What makes this type of coconut so special in my eyes is...you guessed it, it's shaped just like a butt!

Seychelles then held the coconut in her lap and stroked it gently with her hand, smiling from ear to ear. She was enjoying this whole thing a little too much.

"If it isn't too much trouble, could you also bring in the clay models I made earlier?" Seychelles asked her assistant, without looking up from the Coco de Mer.

For the next five minutes, Seychelles continued to sit in her chair, fiddling with the coconut while she waited for her assistant to return. When they did, she jumped up from her seat, dropping the coconut on the table and running excitedly towards the large cardboard box.

"First up..." She announced, "We have a tough, rigid German butt. Quite a fine specimen, if you ask me." She slapped her hand against it with great force, before putting it on the table next to the coconut. She reached inside the box and took out another clay replica.

"Next, we have this one which is quite soft and round. I wonder who it could belong to?" She stopped to recall who she had in mind at the time she was making it. "Oh, I remember! Feast your eyes on the lovely Italian butt!" She exclaimed, squishing it gently. She placed it down next to the German butt.

"This French one is quite marvelous indeed, not too hard yet not too soft either." She said with a grin. "Now last but not least, we have this truly glorious Spanish ass!" She cried, holding it high above her head. A ray of sunlight shone on it, and it began to glow, making the dull room seem warm and bright.

"I guess that wraps it up for today, people." Seychelles said, putting the radiant Spanish butt on the table with all the others. She beamed at the camera and gave a bow, before the timer sounded for her to stop filming.

* * *

"I can't believe it..." England whispered, staring at the computer screen, mouth wide open. He turned to face the Frenchman who was standing over his shoulder.

"France, what kind of rubbish did you teach her when she was a child?!"

"I taught her nothing. She is just following her own heart and doing what she enjoys."

"Don't give me that!" England yelled, grabbing France by the collar. "I'm going to contact whoever manages YouTube and tell them to take it down!"

"YouTube? Don't you mean HetaTube?"

"HetaTube."

"What is wrong with the video anyway, England? She was simply expressing her love for the human body!"

"France, who's in charge of HetaTube again?" England asked, picking up the phone receiver.

"America. Your memory really needs more work."

* * *

_The video, titled 'The Wonderful World of Butts' was later removed by Seychelles after many complaints on the part of England, about its vulgar content and sheer violation of the privacy and dignity of others. France, despite his own rear end having been a point of discussion in the video, was quick to jump to Seychelles' defence, though in the end England won the debate through his determination and snarkiness._


End file.
